Zboy and his doggie heaven

Not all blog entries are happy, frustrating, crazy or funny. This one's sad.

Came home from my drinking "stress release" sesh early this morning to find one of my dogs peacefully sleeping. He had been shivering when I last saw him this morning... Mom covered him in a blankie. But when I saw him last, he was covered in his blankie... he slipped quietly away just in a span of 2 hours when nobody was with him. Apparently, I arrived. I saw him. I called out to him, but he didn't move. I went to the dogs den, I petted him, no response. Getting desperate, I gently shook him while saying his name repeatedly... he was stiff. He was cold. I cried... zboy... I kept saying, as if to wake him up. It seemed so surreal. Draco, our other boy dog was sick too apparently, but the girl dogs, Luna and Cassie, they were fine. I knew Zboy was gone, I cried and kissed him goodbye. And I went to my parents room... all I said was "Mom---" then I cried. I couldn't talk. I cried. My Mom embraced me, herself crying. I uttered... Zboy's dead. He's dead. We all went down, and cried. I even woke my sis up to tell her that our beloved Zboy passed away. My other sister arrived at 4.30 am... and upon learning the news when she arrived, she cried too. Zboy was her dog. Zboy was my fave dog from his litter. He was the one I named. He was the one I used to bring up to room to sleep beside me on my bed. I remember, when he'd used to get scared (a lotta times really), he'd hug my leg, standing up, his hind legs supporting him, while his front legs clamped on my leg. Sometimes, when I'd get home "early" in the morning half drunk, or just plain stressed, I'd lie down on the floor and zboy and draco would lie beside me.

I didn't sleep, I watched over Draco with Mom until 8am. I was awake for 24 hours already. I had no appetite, I just wanted to lie down and cry. I kept remembering my beloved Zboy. I haven't smiled today. I feel tired. I feel weak.

Sometimes, there are events that you never expect to happen. The effect is devastating. You just have to deal with it. I have to deal with my grief. All I pray for now is for him to be in doggie heaven, where he will never be scared again.