If you think thesis draft deadline is bad enough, it being tom. Add an exam, also scheduled for tom. I think I'm losing it. I can barely think, let alone process the data I gathered for my thesis. This is too much. When I think about the week that lies ahead... I don't know how I'll manage. I have 2 exams and our poster presentation/defense. Gawd, taking 21 units this sem is definitely taking its toll on me. I'm thinking of ways on how to relieve stress. I can't cry because no tears flow, I can't scream because I'm not mad or frustrated, I can't sleep because I'm too preoccupied, I can't even eat, because I've lost my appetite. My yin-yang is all jumbled up!
Sometimes, I want to just space out. Get lost in a world of endless dreams. But I know, this too shall pass. This burden, it shall pass. Unfortunately, I gotta pass before it passes. Haha.
I'm really losing it. Maybe I need sleep, I got only 3 hours of sleep last night/morning. It's that bad. Sooner or later I'm just going collapse. I've lost my enthusiasm. It has been replaced by dread. Stress. Fatigue.
Worse part? I'm in it alone. I don't like ranting to other people anymore, because if I did that I'd be ranting my ass off every single day. I just sit here, type away, silent, listening to music... repeating "This too shall pass" in my already burned brain cells. My only solace is when I sleep. Because when I sleep, I do nothing but dream. I don't have to think so hard. I just have to let myself go to sleep then everything just flows from there. Then I wake up, I remember the things I have to do. I have to find some kind of divine intervention to give me back my enthusiasm, now replaced with a perpetual snappy schizo woman.
I'm done with my drama. I'm going back to doing my thesis. I haven't got a choice in this matter really. I do want to graduate. Therefore I have to accomplish my thesis. I sound mechanical don't I?
I look forward to getting some sleep. At least there's no thesis in the land of dreams.
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